Porgs, cute, funny.... delicious!

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RogueWolf
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Porgs, cute, funny.... delicious!

Postby RogueWolf » Wed Feb 14, 2018 3:11 am

Deep Thoughts

So in The Last Jedi we see Chewie cooking a Porg over a fire while other Porgs look on giving him sad puppy eyes.

Because this is a Disney film, we think that Chewie feels guilty killing and cooking their brethren and repents his barbic ways and befriends them, welcoming them onto the Falcon as beloved pets. We see a number of them in the cockpit and we even see them nesting in the Falcon's hallway with their young.

How cute!





Unless...

Remember in Return of the Jedi when they are on Endor? Chewie smells out some raw meat from a dead animal! He smells it from far away from the speaderbike crash and trots off through the woods to find the source of the smell. There in a small clearing, is a dead animal stuck on a stick. Chewie is so hungry for this dead animal, he takes it from the stick, triggering a trap that gets our merry band of rebels snatched up in a net. Han then says, "Great Chewie, great. Always thinking with your stomach."

"Always thinking with your stomach?" Sounds like this isn't the first time that Chewie has done something like this. Maybe he has a long history of eating other small animals and meat thingys.

Now fast forward to The Last Jedi. Chewie just cooked a Porg, and if you love BBQ, you know how mouth watering roasting meat can smell. So did Chewie all the sudden go vegan because a little Porg gave him sad puppy eyes?

Not bloody likely! That slow roasted Porg was so good, Chewie decided to 'Take one for the road!' Hell, he didn't stop at one, he took a whole bunch!

Now keep in mind we see several Porgs on the Falcon shortly there after but later on in the film, we only see one remaining Porg onboard the Falcon. Where did all the other Porgs go?

Well my friends, I'll tell you where they went. Chewie ate them!

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Re: Porgs, cute, funny.... delicious!

Postby WarpNein » Wed Feb 14, 2018 3:36 am

That would make me so happy. The cloying would-be mascots are in desperate need of extirpation. Once Chewie introduces Lumpy, Itchy and Mala to Porg meat they're going to be vacationing on whatever that planet's name was. Just imagine Mala cooking up delicious porgs with help from four-armed tranvestite Harvey Korman.

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Re: Porgs, cute, funny.... delicious!

Postby marcnoonan » Wed Feb 14, 2018 6:01 am

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Re: Porgs, cute, funny.... delicious!

Postby TonyG2 » Wed Feb 14, 2018 11:49 am

Ever since return of the Jedi, the franchise has had a growing number of abominations. Ewoks, Jar Jar and now the Porgs. Wholly unnecessary and contributing to the decline (and fall) of the whole series.

That being said, a meeting between a hungry Chewie and Jar Jar would have solved so many problems in the prequels. Roast Gungan anyone?

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Re: Porgs, cute, funny.... delicious!

Postby el gato » Wed Feb 14, 2018 3:57 pm

I found SW's treatment of Chewie to be inconsistent. On the one hand they treat him as a fully capable, sentient being. He might be a "walking carpet," but he's just as brave and smart as the rest of the humans, capable of an occasional smart-alecky joke.

On the other, he's sort of treated like a pet. There's one brief shot where Han caresses Chewie's head like a dog. And I'll emphasize the "like a dog" part because I challenge anyone to caress your best (human) friend's hair as a gesture of affection. Then there's the scene that you talk about where he totally lacks impulse control over the smell of a dead animal. Again, like a dog.

I personally like Chewie a lot and it bugs me when there are these script lapses about the character.
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Re: Porgs, cute, funny.... delicious!

Postby trekriffic » Wed Feb 14, 2018 4:15 pm

This is twisted but I like where you went with this. Mmmmmmm... Porgie Pie...
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Re: Porgs, cute, funny.... delicious!

Postby WarpNein » Wed Feb 14, 2018 9:05 pm

el gato wrote:There's one brief shot where Han caresses Chewie's head like a dog. And I'll emphasize the "like a dog" part because I challenge anyone to caress your best (human) friend's hair as a gesture of affection.


Chewie does that to Han when they're in Jabba's prison in ROTJ, so I could buy the gesture having a friendly meaning to wookies, possibly akin to social grooming in many species.

I've never been bothered much by Chewie's characterization myself. I like that there's enough animal tendencies in him to drive home the point that, while just as sentient and brave as the humans, he has a different evolutionary lineage and is not played as just a human in fursuit. That's part of why I hated the porgs and those bloody rabbit-dogs on the pointless casino planet. The CGI makes it too easy to have animals convey obviously human emotions, to the point where they make anime eyes at the characters. Excessive anthropomorphization is just lazy.

That's also why I'm not bothered by the Ewoks. They're cute insofar as they resemble teddy bears, but they were prepared to cook and eat the main characters, and like a tribal culture with a basic moral structure, their motivation for helping consists largely of tribal loyalty once Luke et al. have been inducted and the fear of what they see as divine retribution, given they set about worshipping Threepio which Luke exploits to terrifying them. For my money, there's enough of an actual plot impact from the Ewoks to keep them out of saccharine mascot territory, even if that's how they got marketed to kids. They were also useful as an (albeit hamfisted) lesson about the Empire's overconfidence. We also see them destroy at least two speeders and two AT-STs using primitive techniques. They were capable of being useful. And because they were actual costumes and the filmmakers had to work within those limitations, they don't go around telegraphing their emotions with cartoon character expressions to make everything nice and simple for the audience. Jar Jar and the Porgs are just !!!!!!!! useless.


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